Lies My Mother Told Me
by roofietoof
Summary: Starbuck finally learns the truth.


**_Men can't be trusted. They'll get theirs and then they'll leave_**.

Kara came awake slowly; she knew that it was morning.

"Hi." She heard Lee whisper behind her.

She rolled over to face him. "You're still here." She uttered back in amazement.

"Yeah." He said softly, tracing his finger down her cheek. "Where else would I be?"

"Maybe you should go back to your own bunk. The others will be up soon." She whispered even as she held onto his arm like a lifeline.

"They'll be up for about twenty minutes, and the curtain will be closed." He smiled. "Then they'll leave, and we'll be alone for three more hours."

"And what do you want to do for those three hours?" She teased with a sultry look.

"Never leave this bed." He breathed as he rolled back over her.

**_No one will ever want you_**.

She heard him walk into the room, but didn't turn to face him as she stood at the table and looked over the reports spread on top of it. She felt him move behind her and then heard a file cabinet slam shut. She feared that he had left again when she felt the heat of his body against her back and heard his breath in her ear.

"I want you." Lee rasped softly before he buried his face in her hair.

She raised her arms up behind her and ran her fingers across his scalp. "You got off shift an hour ago." She murmured in a delirious daze. "Why didn't you come here sooner?"

He chuckled lowly. "Because I'm a stupid, stupid man."

"Yes you are." She laughed as she turned around to face him and sat on the table. "But I love you anyway."

_**And even if they do, they'll never admit it. And it'll never be for anything more than a frak.**_

"Full colors." Lee said as he laid his cards down on the table.

"Ah, man." Kat whined. "That is the third hand that he's won."

"I wonder what's behind his lucky streak." Gaeta said to the other players.

"Starbuck's letting him win." Helo said matter-of-factly.

"And why would she do that?" Gaeta asked intrigued.

Helo smiled at Kara knowingly. "I can think of a few reasons."

She kicked him under the table.

"So, CAG, you're the big winner of the night." Kat told him as she gathered up the cards. "You know the rules; you can have anything that you'd like."

"Well," Lee said looking directly at Kara. "I'd like it very much if Lt. Thrace here would marry me."

Kara's eyes shot up and Kat dropped the cards on the floor.

Lee pushed his chair back as Kara stood up from the table.

She walked over to him and slowly straddled him. "Yeah?" She questioned softly as she brought her arms around his neck.

He pushedher hair back behind her ears. "Uh-huh."

They sat there staring at each other.

"When the hell did this happen?" Hotdog asked the others at the table as he stared in shock at the scene before him.

"Two months ago." Helo answered as he took a drag of his cigar. "Try to keep up, Hotdog."

Kara smiled broadly at Lee. "Well, I've gotta follow the rules now, don't I?"

**_Only losers like music. Your bastard father played music_**.

Kara walked slowly next to Commander Adama, listening as the sounds of her father's piano filled the room.

"It's not exactly the _Wedding March_." The Old Man said of the music as he entwined her arm with his.

"I don't like the _Wedding March_." She whispered back. "I _do _like this."

"It's not very traditional." He pointed out.

Kara laughed. "When have I ever liked being traditional?"

They came to the front of the room, and he took her hand and placed it in Lee's. Commander Adama leaned over and placed a small kiss on her cheek. "I think you'll grow to appreciate it." He whispered before stepping back.

**_Strong people don't forgive. They don't need to_**.

"Sir?" She came up beside Tigh as he leaned heavily against the wall.

"Whadda _you_ want?"

"Why don't you give me that?" She nodded to the flask in his hand.

"S'mine." He slurred. "You're dismissed."

"I'm not on duty, Sir." She smiled minutely. "But you _are._" She put his arm around her and moved so that he was leaning against her. "However, I don't think the Commander would mind if you rested for a few hours in your quarters. Come on."

"Whya helping me?" He rasped out as she led him down the corridor and shot icy looks at all those that dared gape at them.

"Because the Old Man likes you, and I like the Old Man."

"Hmph."

"And because we're really not all that different, Colonel." She admitted even as she smelled the liquor on his breath. "Maybe if we weren't both such stubborn jerks, wemightbe friends."

**_Life is supposed to hurt. That's how you know you're really alive_**.

"IT HURTS!" She hissed out.

"It's supposed to, Lieutenant." Cottle answered back.

"Just hang on." Lee said as she squeezed his hand in a death grip. "It's almost over."

"And just how the hell would you know?" She seethed through clenched teeth.

Ten minutes later it _was _all over; all of the pain and fear, and all of the long-held belief that she would never want this. It all faded as she looked at her son.

Joy. She felt true joy. That's how she knew she was really alive.

Lee kissed her and pulled back to sweep her sweat drenched hair off her forehead. "William Zak Adama?" He questioned. She nodded.

"Good name." The Commanderchuckled from his chair on the other side of the bed.

"Do you still hurt, Lieutenant?" Cottle asked between puffs of his cigarette.

"No, Doc." She smiled. "Not in the slightest."

_**You'll never cause anything but misery.**_

"He's asleep." Lee whispered at her as he placed the baby in his crib.

"How the hell did you get him to do that?" She whispered back as she walked to the crib and looked down at her sleeping son. "He _never_ sleeps for me. He won't even close his eyes. But he doesn't cry either, he just……. _looks_ at me. For hours, that's all he does."

"You're a very interesting specimen, Thrace." Lee said as he sat down. "He's probably trying to figure you out." He smiled deviously. "He doesn't realize that's a life-long undertaking."

"You need to stop calling me 'Thrace'." She laughed. "As Billygets older that's just gonna confuse him."

"Why can't I call you 'Thrace'?" He teased.

"Because I _married _you. You and I were both there when it happened. And so was your father. The President even made an appearance, so I'm pretty sure that it's official."

"You're still called 'Thrace' when you're on duty." He pointed out.

"That's just because I knew that there were _already_ too many Adamas making decisions on this boat." She grinned. "Besides, do you see me wearing a uniform right now?"

"No," He grinned back as she sat on his lap. "But in my opinion you're wearing too many clothes _right now_."

"Promise me you'll call me 'Adama'." She said as she unbuttoned his shirt.

"I will." He uttered feverishly as he pulled her tanks over her head.

"Do it now." She ordered taking in a gasping breath.

He kissed her hotly. "I've never been so happy in my whole frakking life, Adama."

**_You can always be replaced_**.

Kara slid down the ladder after stepping out of her cockpit with such a feeling of victorious exhilaration that she thought she would let out a jubilant scream.

"That was beautiful, Starbuck." Kingston laughingly called out to her. "You had that last toaster runnin' so scared."

"Don't encourage her." Helo cautioned harshly. "She almost frakking got herself killed."

"You're exaggerating, Karl." She laughed.

Tyrol came up to her quickly. "You might want to find somewhere else to be for a while until your husband cools off. He was here on the deck when the com link of the battle came through. He wasn't happy."

"He'll get over it." She said with a wave of the hand as she looked over something on her wing.

"I'm not so sure, Starbuck." Helo interjected.

"I know how to handle Captain Adama." She assured them.

She didn't hear him come up behind her, or have time to process his hand around her wrist before he was dragging her off the deck and into the nearest vacant room.

"Lee!" She snapped. "What the frak?"

She saw him shut the hatch and he stayed facing the door, not looking at her. She heard his breath hissing through his teeth.

He spun around to face her. "What the hell did you think you were doing?" He screamed at her.

"Lee……" She moved to soothe him, afraid of the stormy look in his eyes.

He stopped her from coming any closer. "Do you even care? Do you even give a frak that I was listening the whole time? While you were out there………_unnecessarily_ putting your life on the line?"

She closed her eyes. "You can't treat me different than all the other pilots." She uttered firmly.

"You ARE different than all the other pilots!" He yelled volcanically.

"Lee." She whispered near tears. "I'm here. Nothing happened."

He moved back to the door. "You can't do that to me, Kara." He said softly as he opened the door without looking at her. "It's not just you in that cockpit anymore."

He left her trembling in the middle of the room.

**_Don't ever apologize. It means you're weak_**.

Five minutes later she stood in front of the door of his office. She reached up and knocked gently.

"Come in." She heard him call.

She opened the door and stepped inside. She walked softly until she came behind his desk and stood beside him as he sat in his chair.

"Lee?" She whispered as he ignored her. "Lee, look at me."

He pushed his chair back until he was sitting in front of her. "Did you need something, Lt.?" He asked looking at her coldly.

She sat against the edge of the desk, breathed deep and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry."

He stood up and slowly pressed against her.

"I'm sorry." She repeated again as he buried his face in her shoulder.

"Kara." He whispered reverently.

She pulled his face back to hers and held it in her hands. "I'm sorry." She kissed him softly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

_**Don't bother with children. They're nothing but a pain in the ass anyways.**_

Kara watched amused as the little finger dipped in the paint can and flung itself against the canvas, splattering some on the floor in the process.

"You're gettin' paint everywhere, little man." She looked down at him in mock disappointment.

Billy smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, Mama."

"That's okay. That's why we put the sheet down on the floor." She took his hand and dipped his finger in the paint, then brought it to the canvas and traced it around in a pattern. "_This_ is how we do it." She smiled as she kissed the top of his head.

"You're good at this, Mama." He whispered in awe as he looked up at her.

"What?" She eyed him. "You thought all I was good at was flying?"

He nodded.

"Nah. That's just what I'm _best_ at." She replied with a grin.

"Where's Daddy?" He questioned.

"Daddy's flying." She answered.

"Don't you need to be flying too, Mama?" He asked as he scratched his head, getting paint all over his hair.

"No, baby." She laughed before looking back to his masterpiece. "I'm _exactly_ where I need to be."

_**You'll hurt the people you love, just like I did.**_

"If you don't knock it off, I'm gonna tell your grandfather, and then you'll _really_ be sorry."

"I don't _like_ you, Mama." Billy Adama stated firmly.

"Billy!" Lee yelled at his son. "Tell your mother you're sorry, _now._"

"NO!" Billy pouted.

"Yeah, well, you're not my favorite person right now, either. But guess what? We're stuck with each other." Kara screamed back as she pointed to the next room. "Go wash your face. It's time for you to go to bed."

"Not tired!" The little boy screamed.

"Mommy and Daddy ARE, and we win out, so GO!"

Billy stomped off to the other room.

"Oh my _gods_." Kara snapped as she turned to Lee and threw her son's toys into their designated corner. "I really wish he'd taken after you instead of me in the 'How to be a Spoiled Brat' department."

"I _heard_ that!" An angry little voice yelled from the next room.

"Well, I wasn't _trying_ to be quiet!" She yelled back.

"I'll put him to bed." Lee told her as he placed his hands on her shoulders. "You go for a run or something."

"No, Lee." She screwed her eyes shut. "You got him up and ready this morning, it's _my _job to put him to bed."

"He's being a holy terror. And you've been on shift for fourteen hours." He pointed out. "You have an excuse for snapping at him."

"Yeah? Well, he's four years old." She sighed as she rubbed her eyes. "He has an excuse too."

Twenty minutes later, her son was quiet and tucked into bed.

"Good night, little man." She whispered as she kissed his cheek.

"Night, Mama." He whispered back.

Kara turned off the light and walked to the door.

"Mama?"

"What, Billy?" She turned back around to face him, worried that he would say something that would break her heart.

And he did, but in the good way. "Love you." He mumbled sleepily.

She closed her eyes. "Love you too."

**_You'll never be good enough_**.

"He's asleep." She confirmed when she walked into their room and started to undress.

"Thank gods." Lee groaned as he lay on the bed. "I know I'll never be able to prove it, but I think that someone is feeding him massive quantities of sugar."

"It's Dee. She keeps candy in her pocket, and she can't tell him no when he asks for some, he's too _cute_." She chuckled as she turned off the light and laid down next to him. "And yeah, you'll never be able to prove it."

He wrapped his arms around her as she settled in, pressing herself against his body. "I don't remember ever being this tired." He sighed.

"Not even during our repeating 33 minutes of Cylon-induced FTL hell?" She laughed skeptically.

"I said _remember_, Kara. That whole time was a total blur."

"But _this_ we're experiencing vividly." She deadpanned.

He laughed and brushed his lips against her temple as he closed his eyes. "Good night, Adama." He whispered. "I love you."

"Lee?"

"Yeah?"

"_You_ did it." She said purposefully.

"_What_ did I do?" He questioned absently.

"Five years ago, if a little brat had fought with me for half an hour about when to go to bed, I would have backhanded him across the room."

"No, you wouldn't have." He responded firmly, his eyes still closed.

She scoffed in disbelief. "_You_ changed me, Lee. You made me better."

"I didn't do anything, Kara. You were always like this." He chuckled softly. "You just hid it well."

"I never let myself believe that I could be like this; that I could love like this." She breathed as she put her face in the crook of his neck.

"It's the truth, Kara." He said sleepily as he moved his hand to her hip. "Everything else is just lies that your mother told you."

"Lee?" She teased as she leisurely traced a finger against his bare chest. "How tired _are_ you?"

He pulled back to look at her with a wide, sexy grin on his face. "Not _that_ tired."

_**No one will ever love you like I did.**_

_Yeah, Mama._ _You were right about that one._

-finis


End file.
